Breaking the Cycle of ‘Don’t’: Why Saying ‘Yes’ Matters in Horse Training

Horse trainers are only human. Unfortunately, because of how our brains are hardwired, we often work against our horses without realizing it. To achieve a partnership with our horses and foster willingness, curiosity, and expression, we need to rewire how our brains see the world.

While you can't simply change your hardwiring overnight, training yourself to find praise-worthy moments during a training or riding session can improve your ability to convey your desires to your horse.

The Incessant Don'ts

We often speak in 'don'ts' to our horses

We have all heard and spoken these phrases to children before:

• Don't throw your toys

• Don't leave a mess

• Stop yelling!

Our interactions without horses tend to take on the same tone with a constant stream of commands like:

• Don't paw on the crossties

• Don't spook at the cat

• Don't weave in your stall

• Don't speed up that fast

• Don't buck

• Don't slow down

• Don't bite

Sometimes these "don'ts" may be said aloud, but there are many quiet ways we can convey a "don't" to our horses. Slapping, pushing, tugging the reins, kicking with our legs, or putting them in a tight circle are all ways we can silently say "don't".

To our horses, this constant stream of "don'ts" leaves them with a list a mile long of the things you don't want them to do. However, they may still be unable to grasp exactly what it is you do want from them.

Our Brains Are to Blame

Odds are, you never noticed how often you say "don't" to your horse before. That's because the way the human brain is hardwired makes it easier to notice our horse's misbehavior than the absence of it. This phenomenon is called search asymmetry.

The secret to our training inclinations lies in the makeup of our brains

This predisposition can be traced back to the early days of our evolution. Being able to quickly notice differences in the environment (such as a predator on the prowl) was paramount to early man's survival. However, being able to immediately pick up on the absence of a threat was not as important.

Even though those days are long behind us in the evolutionary timeline, our brains still function in the same way.

That's why we tend to notice and reprimand our horses for pawing on the crossties but don't give a second thought if they are standing quietly. So, while our horses may quickly pick up what we do not want from them, they still need to choose between infinite possibilities to discover what we do want.

If you want to speed up your progress and develop effortless communication, training your brain to notice and praise the absence of unwanted behavior is essential.

Finding Praise-Worthy Moments

The first step is to seek out moments worthy of praise. Start trying to think in terms of what you do want. For instance, change:

• Don't paw on the crossties to Do stand still

• Don't spook at the cat to Do take a moment to observe and walk past calmly

• Don't slow down to Do slow down when asked

• Don't bite to Do keep your head away from me

  
  

Instead of living in a world of negatives, the horse suddenly hears more positives. Your horse will go from always being told "no," to being taught what he does well and being praised for being a good horse. Slowly your horse will grow more willing, comfortable, and happy in their work as they begin to understand what you are looking for.

To make misbehavior go away practice praising the absence of it

You can also create praise-worthy moments by breaking down more difficult tasks into smaller steps. This way you can praise your horse often at each small increment.

For instance, when practicing a dressage test, praise each movement instead of just at the end. You could give your horse a pat and kind word after each jump they clear or hand them a small treat for each step they make across a scary bridge. This way, your horse is receiving constant feedback about their performance.

A horse trained with "dos" will grow more confident and engaged in their work. While it may take some time to rewire your brain, your horse will thank you with their understanding and willingness.

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Do you want to learn more about how to make your riding and training goals come true? Learn how setting SMART goals can help you become a better rider and trainer.